Past Months Articles
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something we can do about the state of our world!
The
Power or Toxicity
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Recommended Reading
Sacred Contracts by Carolyn Myss
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by Dr. Stephen
Vizzard, PHD., P.S.
Such
spiritual pundits as Carolyn Myss and Sylvia Brown expound that, before we come
into this earth, we make a contract with God regarding the spiritual goals on
which we will work in this lifetime. Carolyn Myss's most recent book
(“Sacred Contracts”) discusses this concept in detail.
As an interesting twist to this paradigm, Carolyn Myss
says that the key to spirituality is forgiveness and further notes that it is
easier to forgive if we understand that the people in our lives, no matter how
vexing they might be, have come into our lives to challenge and prod us with
respect to our contractual goals. If this is true, then it would seem more
appropriate to thank them than to forgive them.
The sacred contract paradigm can certainly explain a
phenomenon that I have observed far too often in clients. Many of them become
repeatedly embroiled in the same type of destructive and soul-harming
situations. The most common area for this to occur is in relationships with
family, friends and lovers. Eventually, after being beaten to an emotional (and
sometimes physical) pulp, they stagger free, take a painful breath, then swear
that they will never do that again. Believe me, they do. Often over and over
until, hopefully, they finally learn. Along the way, they meet Mr. or Mrs.
Wonderful. They swear that this new object of their affections is nothing like
the horror from which they just escaped. Content with their new drug, they no
longer feel any pressing need to work on their foibles, and they quit therapy.
If I see them again, if they swallow their pride regarding this latest mistake
that they've made and limp back into therapy, I am never surprised to hear that
Mr. or Mrs. Wonderful turned out to be exactly the same problem, different
version.
How did they know, beyond the surface presentation by
their new candidate, that they would be once again challenged? One explanation
is that they didn't, at least at a conscious level. However, the sacred
contract paradigm would hold that these lessons in life were sent to them,
sometimes over and over, to assist them with achieving their sacred goals. That
or go down in flames.
I like this sacred contract paradigm. I believe that
it is true. More than that, it is certainly far more empowering than the victim
orientation that we have grown so fond of over the last generation or so. As a
culture, we like to moan about how we were just minding our own business when
life dealt us another crappy hand. Another lousy job, abusive family members, a
mean boss, a controlling partner or even the development of a serious illness
such as cancer (which we have far more control over than we believe). You know
the litany. If we are good enough at complaining, we might even make it onto
the Jerry Springer show where we would get to share our misery with the hordes
of victim addicts who have made such shows popular.
Victims are allegedly helpless, powerless, to do
something about this misery that keeps invading their lives. But, if sacred
contracts are true, then we asked for such challenges. These problems will keep
coming back, over and over, until we finally unleash our power and get it
right. Along the way, it can get rough. However, as one healer that I know
said, “Just because the ride gets scary, doesn't mean you didn't buy the
ticket”. Being roughed up is what we asked for, for our growth. Such
experiences don't have to damage us unless we take them too seriously (humor
and laughter are great healers). Or unless we “forget” about our contract and
step into the soul-wounding mode of victim.
In next month's article, I will discuss other
perspectives regarding how we end up in repetitious negative situations.
If you have any questions, or suggestions for future article topics, please
feel free to contact me at:mailto:thewiz2k@hotmail.com
J. Stephen Vizzard, Ph.D.
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